Frobisher's orange juice is - according to the blurb on the bottle - "gently pasteurised". Does this mean that the pasteurisation process can frequently be quite brutal? If so, I'll double check my milk.
Palmolive Milk & Honey Liquid Handwash, meanwhile, "protects the skin from excessive dryness...leaving it feeling nourished and touchably soft..."
So soft you could actually touch it? It's hard to believe, but it says it right there on the bottle.
I think we're dealing with a copywriter who's so soft I could happily touch him too. With a baseball bat.