WASHED AND READY TO EAT

Mrs W caught our cat trying to hitch a lift on the Tesco delivery van that was parked near Woodford Towers yesterday. We were speculating that if she'd actually managed to get on board, we might never have seen her again. Maybe she'd have ended up a depot miles away. Or jumped off in another neighbourhood and found herself completely lost. My theory is that we should train her just to get on the Ocado and Abel & Cole vans that are a common sight around our area. At least then we'd know she was going to a good home.

Further to my earlier observations about the badges people wear at Tesco to identify their hobbies, I noticed a guy in my local store making quite a brave, anti-corporate statement. He tells us that he likes holidays.

Every time I visit the checkout at Tesco, I can't help but pity the poor workers who are forced to wear ridiculous badges that tell me the year they joined the team. They are also encouraged to give me details about their hobbies and interests. What exactly am I supposed to do with this information? Strike up a conversation? "You know what, Mike? It is Mike, isn't it? I just couldn't help noticing that you're a keen gardener. The thing is, so am I! I suppose it's what they'd call a coincidence, but isn't it weird that two such keen horticulturalists could end up in exactly the same place at the same time?" If I worked for Tescoses, I'd want to liven my badge up a bit. My name is Phil. Joined the team in 2011. I like smashing plates at Greek restaurants. I was on the last G20 demo. I have an obsession with Lady Gaga.