WASHED AND READY TO EAT

I don't want to get too carried away with the London mayoral theme, but YouGov asked a fantastic question of voters recently. Which of the candidates would you feel most confident would repay you if you lent them money? 24% opted for the incumbent, Boris Johnson, 18% for former police commander Brian Paddick and just 17% for the former mayor, Ken Livingstone. A whopping 26% couldn't envisage their cash being returned by any of the leading contenders. My personal view is that bumbling Boris would intend to give the money back and be quite well intentioned, but would almost certainly forget. When prompted, he'd look concerned and promise to take you out for a slap-up meal at some unspecified point in the future. Paddick probably wouldn't accept your loan without a lot of paperwork to document the transaction. Ken would refer you to his accountant.

I've just received the latest piece of propaganda from incumbent London Mayor, Boris Johnson, in the run-up to the election on May 3rd. The Tory toff tries to help me navigate the complex voting process. 'Vote for Boris Johnson as your first choice by marking a cross in column one,' he advises. 'This is essential.' But then what? There's going to be a second column, Boris. What are my options? 'Then, if you wish,' continues the former Bullingdon Club eccentric, 'vote for your second choice by marking one cross in column two. Your second choice vote is up to you.' We can rest easy, knowing that democracy is thriving in the heart of the UK's bustling capital. I have permission to vote for ANY candidate as my second choice. They could only dream of freedoms like this in places like Bahrain.