I've just received the latest piece of propaganda from incumbent London Mayor, Boris Johnson, in the run-up to the election on May 3rd.
The Tory toff tries to help me navigate the complex voting process. 'Vote for Boris Johnson as your first choice by marking a cross in column one,' he advises. 'This is essential.'
But then what? There's going to be a second column, Boris. What are my options?
'Then, if you wish,' continues the former Bullingdon Club eccentric, 'vote for your second choice by marking one cross in column two. Your second choice vote is up to you.'
We can rest easy, knowing that democracy is thriving in the heart of the UK's bustling capital. I have permission to vote for ANY candidate as my second choice. They could only dream of freedoms like this in places like Bahrain.