WASHED AND READY TO EAT

There's nothing I like more than a free invitation and estate agents seem to understand this only too well. Taking advantage of my eye for a bargain, they're always inviting me to have my house valued gratis.  This extraordinary generosity stands in stark contrast to exploitation of the countless charlatans and tricksters who will quite happily charge hundreds of pounds just to tell me what my property might be worth. I tell these chancers in no uncertain terms that I won't tolerate their exorbitant valuation fees, when other kindly agents are issuing invitations for FREE. You have to be careful with estate agents these days though. In the December edition of a glossy mag called South West, which I picked up on a train, there's a profile of a couple of guys from a posh London firm. One of them has been drafted in from the military. Talking about the dangers of being on the front line of the property war in Barnes, he says: 'In the Marines, we used to have a saying: ...

Some years in the future, when a historian is trawling through the ephemeral remains of our early 21st century civilisation, a copy of The Richmond Magazine will surely surface. Delivered door-to-door in the south-west London borough, the glossy publication provides a unique insight into the lives and preoccupations of Britain's wealthy, intellectual elite. Those of us a couple of rungs down the social pecking order, who through a quirk of global positioning are fortunate enough to live within the circulation zone, are merely able to bathe vicariously in the warm glow created by the mag's contents. Take the December 2010 edition, for example. The offers available to local residents are really quite special. Bodyvie Clinics aren't content with serving champagne and mince pies to clients in the festive season. They also offer a free, 30-minute glycolic peel with all wrinkle reduction and dermal filler treatments. Rejuvenated by the experience, readers might feel inclined to ...