WASHED AND READY TO EAT

Edward Snowden's statement that he might seek asylum in that bastion of democracy, Russia, is decidedly weird. But not as weird as the news reported recently that Putin's government has found a novel way of avoiding the kind of security breach epitomised by Snowden and his pal Julian Assange. According to Izvestya, the Putin government recently put in an order for 20 Triumph Adler typewriters. A source inside the Russian Federal Guard Service was quoted as saying that these low-tech machines each had their own unique signature and that paper reports were the order of the day from now on. This quirky - or should I say querty - approach to government communication in the digital age certainly has security advantages. But all those carbon copies may have a dramatic impact on Russia's CO2 emissions. There may also be other unforeseen consequences.  'Vasily, hurry up and finish the report on our top-secret operation in Damascus. And stop sniffing that f*****g Tippex!' 

One of the more bizarre revelations to emerge from Edward Snowden's whistleblowing is the supposed monitoring of communications by British intelligence at the 2009 G20 summit. When foreign officials gathered for the shindig, they were allegedly encouraged to use bogus internet cafes set up by spooks. I'm struggling to get my head around this. This is 2009, right? And the politicians and diplomatic entourages of the the world's 20 most prosperous countries rely on internet cafes to send email? I'm tempted to email Mr Snowden myself over a secure server and ask for more detail. Perhaps the visiting dignitaries were using Alta Vista to surf the web? Next time, they'll bring their own 28k modems with them.