WASHED AND READY TO EAT

One of the weirder aspects of the Jimmy Savile story (and I admit there have been plenty, including the former DJ's supposed role as a marriage guidance counsellor to Prince Charles ), has been the sex pest's involvement at Broadmoor. While swanning around the top-security hospital, he seems to have struck up a friendship with the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe . Let's face it. Before all the dark and seedy stuff started tumbling out about the Jim'll Fix It star, it would have been a pairing that seemed quite preposterous. Celebrities from very different walks of life do, however, seem to have a habit of forming unlikely relationships. I'm thinking particularly of Richard Nixon's fascination with Elvis Presley , the rapport between Burmese politician Aung Sang Suu Kyi and British radio presenter Dave Lee Travis and the flying visit Lady Gaga paid not so long ago to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange . Which celebrities do you secretly hope will get togethe...

Every time I visit the checkout at Tesco, I can't help but pity the poor workers who are forced to wear ridiculous badges that tell me the year they joined the team. They are also encouraged to give me details about their hobbies and interests. What exactly am I supposed to do with this information? Strike up a conversation? "You know what, Mike? It is Mike, isn't it? I just couldn't help noticing that you're a keen gardener. The thing is, so am I! I suppose it's what they'd call a coincidence, but isn't it weird that two such keen horticulturalists could end up in exactly the same place at the same time?" If I worked for Tescoses, I'd want to liven my badge up a bit. My name is Phil. Joined the team in 2011. I like smashing plates at Greek restaurants. I was on the last G20 demo. I have an obsession with Lady Gaga.