WASHED AND READY TO EAT

A glossy leaflet arrives through the letterbox at Woodford Towers from advocates of a new 'free school' in my local area. This is inspired by the crackpot policy of the Tories and their Lib Dem pals that lets any group of parents club together and start educating children at an institution they create themselves. The founders can take over a disused office block, for example, and teach the kids transcendental meditation, if that's the vibe they dig, man. (If you think I'm joking, I've already seen the ads for a local meditation school.) Leaving aside the obvious political and philosophical questions - why I should be allowed to set up a 'free' school, but not a free hospital or police force, for example - the policy initiative seems to have created a playground for the under-employed middle class, whereas it was originally trumpeted as a way of raising standards in tough, inner-city areas. Commendably, the instigators of the free school proposal in my ar...

UK Business Secretary Vince Cable is still probably best known for his parliamentary attack on Gordon Brown, in which he described the transformation of the former Labour Prime Minister from 'Stalin to Mr Bean'. If anyone looks like Mr Bean now, it's surely the Liberal Democrats' bumbling brainbox who represents the leafy suburban constituency of Twickenham in London. Remember how Cable blurted his mouth out to a couple of undercover female journalists, revealing how he was going to nail Rupert Murdoch? Perhaps you caught the report about Vince's unfortunate backlog of VAT payments? Well, he's now been found discarding confidential documents in recycling bags outside his local office. Although his Letwinesque approach to data protection did attract some national press coverage, the really interesting detail can only be found in the original Richmond & Twickenham Times scoop. Waitrose bills found in the paperwork make interesting reading, for instance. ...

"It's alright, Santa. Nick Clegg says you can promise whatever you want, but you don't actually have to deliver it."