WASHED AND READY TO EAT

Riding hats off to a sergeant in the Metropolitan Police, who is quoted in the Evening Standard after an operation to target vagrants in London. Commenting on the use of mounted cops, he says: 'Officers on horses mean increased visibility. They have a different viewpoint and can spot things we don't.' My old friend Hoffy suggests that giraffes might provide an even better vantage point in the fight against crime. But animals cost money. In these times of austerity, surely a few step ladders from B&Q would be a more appropriate investment?

I bumped into a retired CID officer recently and he was talking to me about his early days in the Met back in the 1970s. As a novice 'woodentop', he'd been attached to a sleepy suburban nick, where crime rarely intruded on the working day. First thing in the morning, the officers would arrive for parade and would be allocated their tasks. One guy would be sent for bacon, a second for eggs and a third to get a loaf of bread.