News reaches of me of an event organised by the Greater London region of the Federation of Small Businesses. A "festive one hour" (sic) has been arranged tomorrow at the Memorial Roundabout, Orpington High Street. I think limiting things to an hour is probably a good idea. We wouldn't want the yuletide excitement to get out of hand.
The big draw is the attendance of John Wright.
Yes, that's what I said too.
The John Wright who coached the Indian cricket team a few years ago? Johnny Wright, the Northern Ireland 'B' international, who once played for Norwich City?
Ian Wright's long-lost brother, perhaps?
No. We're talking about the Hon. National Chairman of the Federation of Small Businesses, who'll be switching on the Christmas lights. Orpington has never seen the like of it. The event is apparently being filmed and the press will be in attendance.