We're used to Christmas sales in the high street. In the dim distant, they used to start on Boxing Day, didn't they? Today, with the credit crunch on top of us and a major recession looming ahead, the retail reductions are already in full swing. Knock-down toys, cheap electronic goods, two packs of mince pies for the price of one, thousands of pounds off a local house, bargain basement decorations... er.... hold on a second. Let's rewind. The one before last.
Thousands of pounds off a local house?
Yep, that's right. You've got it in one. Not to be outdone by the likes of MFI or the bean-counters who've taken responsibility for Woolies, Countrywide plc are holding an "end of year property sale" later this week. Their local subsidiary has written to me at Woodford Towers and given me the details.
"A genuine Sale (sic) of this magnitude," gushes the letter, "has not been seen in the UK property market." I'll take their word for it. "DO NOT MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY," the copy continues. "It is unlikely to be repeated."
(That last bit I'm not so sure about, if I'm honest. Given the state of the market, I suspect the sale may be repeated a number of times between January and July next year. But with rather lower prices than we're seeing this Christmas.)
My correspondent predicts "significant uptake" and tells me that appointments will be on a "first come first serve (sic)" basis.
Isn't it exciting? Hurry, hurry, hurry! Everyone MUST come, because every house MUST go.