Skip to main content

The geek shall inherit the Earth

They say the Lord moves in mysterious ways. This may be why He has decided that Jesus Christ should return to Earth in the form of an IT specialist.

According to reports, Alan John 'AJ' Miller is building quite a following down under with his claims that he is the Messiah rebooted. Intriguingly, the computer expert - whose partner is the reincarnation of Mary Magdalene - can actually remember the crucifixion. Now, I sometimes find it hard to remember people I met a couple of months ago or where I've left my keys, but I guess that whole business with Pontius Pilate is the kind of thing that would stick in the mind.

After JC/AJ died, he had a great time up in heaven, because he was able to have conversations with people such as Socrates. (That's the philosopher who used to hang out in ancient Athens. Not that bloke who used to play for Brazil.)

One key test of Miller's authenticity would definitely be to ask him about the Pearly Gates. You'll remember that author Fay Weldon has seen them recently and has stated that they are double-glazed. If AJ says different, one of them is telling us a porky pie.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Captain Birdseye and other people of rank

Regular readers may recall that I once doubted the existence of Yeo Valley. I'd never heard of the Yeo mountain range and I therefore rated the likelihood of there being a valley at somewhere between 0 and 5%. Of course, I had yoghurt all over my face when I discovered that the place really does exist. Somewhere in Somerset, I seem to recall. Today, having read an article in the latest edition of The Marketer magazine, I'm astonished to discover that there really was a Captain Birdseye. Well, I need to qualify that just a little. There was a Mister Clarence Birdseye who invented the fish finger back in 1955. The avuncular, uniformed figure who dominated our TV screens for about thirty years may have been an invention of over-eager advertising creatives, but he didn't blow in on a trawler during a squall. There was actually some connection to a real human being. These revelations about fish and yoghurt are causing me considerable disquiet, because I'm wondering h...

Becoming a Twister board

I spent yesterday evening in an old factory building off Brick Lane playing kids' games with an organisation called Fun Fed. The idea is that a bunch of adults get together and act like children for a couple of hours. We played tag and stuck big coloured discs on ourselves so that we could become human Twister mats. There was an awful lot of running around and I was thinking that I ought to get to aikido a bit more often. Being a child is very hard work.

When one name isn't enough

You may have heard the news reports about the turmoil in Kingston, Jamaica, resulting from the government's attempts to pin down a notorious drug lord on behalf of the US. I was struck by the number of self-styled monikers this guy has given himself. He is, depending on the channel you listen to, known on the street as 'Dudas', 'The Big Man' and 'The President' - worshipped by many impoverished Kingston residents as a benefactor to slum dwellers. It's his real name that seems most appropriate, however. If you were a drug baron called Christopher Coke, wouldn't you leave it at that? It's certainly not a name to be sniffed at.