In what must surely be the weirdest news since we learnt that the Nazis trained dogs to speak, it’s been revealed that Burmese figurehead Aung San Suu Kyi was sustained through captivity by radio broadcasts from veteran DJ Dave Lee Travis. After his untimely departure from Radio One in the 1920s or sometime soon after, the Hairy Cornflake seemed to make his way back on air – this time for the BBC World Service. His ‘Jolly Good Show’ made Suu Kyi’s world more ‘complete’ according to reports. For all I know, the feisty democracy campaigner was up for playing snooker on the radio with DLT if the Burmese junta had given her an outside line.
I am bracing myself for further revelations.
Perhaps, in those dark hours when Nelson Mandela was held captive on Robben Island, he was comforted by the sound of Steve Wright in the Afternoon? The south Londoner’s chirpy characters helped him make light of what would otherwise be a grim situation. “It makes me SO ANGRY, I could throw the whole apartheid regime down...” How he laughed.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is pacing the icy wastes of the Soviet gulag. Goodness gracious, goodness gracious, guys and girlskis. Could that be the sound of Jimmy Savile, as it ‘appens?
Make the madness stop. Just make it stop. Please. Unless someone from Viz is reading and sees an opportunity for a comic strip.