My TV remote has never ventured quite as far as Channel 888 on Sky, but if it did, I'd be settling down for a night of entertainment courtesy of Ocean Finance. Unbelievably, the high-profile broker - which is known for its seemingly unlimited advertising budget on daytime cable telly - now finally has a channel of its own. And on the associated website, you're able to get a flavour of the thrills that lie in store.
Today's 20-minute clip features some stilted dialogue between a roving reporter and one of Ocean's mortgage advisors. After an interminable minute of animated type and music, the excitable pair get talking about right-to-buy schemes for council and housing association tenants. Here's a sample.
"Chris, what would you say is the most important document for right-to-buy customers?"
"It's got to be the Section 125 paperwork or 'offer to sell' as it's known in Scotland."
Good question. There's no flies on this bloke. And here's the answer:
"The Section 125 is the offer notice documentation that's sent to you by your local council or housing association after you apply to purchase your property from them."
You know what? I'm hooked. From now on, you can forget Jack Bauer on Sky One. Just give me back-to-back Ocean.
"Previously on Right to Buy Paperwork..."