Wednesday, January 30, 2008

What's the best way to raise a chickpea?

Packaging copy here that must surely rank as some of the worst I've read in a very long time.

"Organic chickpeas raised in Turkey... So they grow in the radiant Middle-Eastern sun... So it's not only bouzoukis that will be playing on your taste buds."

When they raise these chickpeas, I do hope they ensure they're given plenty of stimulation and not just stuck in front of the telly all day.

And there's absolutely no need to mention bouzoukis.

I know Turkish belly dancers often have some very eye-catching assets, but this is a family blog. There's clearly some attempt at a joke in this final segment of the copy, but I don't have a well enough developed sense of houmous to get it.

When we turn to the back of the packet, the text takes an even more bizarre turn.

"Of the ingredients that can be organic, 100% are organic. Salt and Water cannot be organic."

It's too late at night for me to begin to pick this nonsense apart in detail. The first line makes a weasel seem like a very straight talking kind of fellow. And given that salt and water are naturally occurring substances, surely they have a greater claim to organic status than most ingredients?

The good news is that the product is suitable for vegetarians, vegans and coeliacs. The bad news is that it gets a red traffic light for fat and salt.

Excuse me while I go away and blow my head off with a bouzouki.

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