Coming soon to Living TV is a show called Dirty Cows, starring Tara Palmer Tomkinson. The attractive socialite is apparently going to help "Britain's most eligible - and handsome - young farmer" choose a potential mate from a gaggle of city girls. They'll be put through their paces on the farm, of course. Mucking out stables, milking cows and pinning up Bluetongue warning notices. The process will allow the sexy young Barleymow to get a feel for each lady's strengths.
Excuse me while I go out and shoot myself in both kneecaps with an abattoir stun gun.