What do you get when cross a new Vauxhall with an overdressed ostrich? The answer is an advertisement which cannot be successfully decoded by a whole room full of marketers, designers and copywriters.
I was teaching part of an art direction class the other day at Chelsea College of Arts and have to admit that we collectively drew a blank.
According to the copy, the Vauxhall ADAM is as individual as you are.
Let's say, for instance, you were an ostrich with a penchant for wearing heels and jewellery. Well, the car would be an ideal match.
I am wondering whether the bird represents Eve, as we are told that 'whatever your personality, there's an ADAM for you'. Is the typical driver therefore a woman, who craves the ultimate security of an archetypal man? The kind of modern guy who dresses in red like you and impresses your mother with his carbon emissions of only 124g/km?
This idea is unfortunately blown out of the water by the small print. 'Animal not included,' it reads. 'Accessory model's own.'
So the ostrich was actually a make-believe free gift to which gullible readers might have believed themselves entitled?
You would pay to be a fly on the wall at the meeting between the client and agency where the concept was first mooted.
Sadly, fly not included. Wall insect's own.