I was reading in The Metro about a village called Firhall in the highlands of Scotland which seems to ban children. According to hack Ross McGuinness, residents of the creepy hamlet - which also tells people not to start their cars before 7am or hang out their washing - is like 'Britain 30 years ago'.
What a load of horses**t.
Younger WARTE readers will have to take my word for the fact that people did start cars and hang out washing in 1980. And if there weren't any kids back then, we can only assume the good burghers of Firhall were delivered in adult form to their Stepford-style community by a stork.