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Strange classified ads in my local paper

Two caught my eye this week. The first is entitled "Girl hopes to track down boy" and tells an emotional rollercoaster of a story about furtive glances across a Boots branch in south-west London.

The lady who placed the ad has strangely written it in the third person and ranges across different tenses. But we can't all be perfect. Or should that be pluperfect?

"They had passed each other in the shop...the young woman works Saturdays every fortnight...the young man is tall with a light brown complexion..."

The second ad is very different, but equally arresting. It's entitled "Rent a gent", but it's in the business services section, rather than personal services. The copy reads: "Bored, retired quantity Surveyor offering a range of practical help and services. Including building maintenance, pension advice, help with letters, power of attorney and more." Jack-of-all-trades Mike leaves his mobile number. So if ever I'm about to write a letter signing over power of attorney to a builder without a pension, I'll know who to call.

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