If the copywriter responsible for putting poetry on the back of Fairy washing powder is in town, here's my message: Non Bio Creek ain't big enough for the two of us. You have until sundown tomorrow to make tracks or I'll be spinning you out and hanging you up to dry. The latest effort: Jack and Jill went up the hill, For nap time after nursery, Tucked softly in, Mum did begin, A free Timmy Time book from Fairy. Jesus H Christ. My nine-year-old could do better than that. Just as well I don't choose my fast-moving consumer goods on the basis of packaging verse.
This ephemera should reach you in perfect condition. In the unlikely event that you find one of these blog entries to be damaged in any way - or past its sell-by date - please don't hesitate to contact @philwoodford on Twitter.