Skip to main content

A Fawlty Towers script? Si, senor!

Ok, so I gave ChatGPT the following scenario:

"Imagine a theatrical script for a situation comedy set in a hotel in Torquay, England. The proprietor is called Basil, an eccentric man who believes the calibre of guests to be low. His wife, Sybil, is often frustrated by Basil's incompetence. They employ a Spanish waiter called Manuel, who struggles to understand English. Basil suspects that two guests, who claim to be married, may be lying."
Here's what our favourite AI came up with:
Scene: The hotel lobby in Torquay, England. Basil is standing behind the reception desk, looking at a piece of paper. Sybil is standing next to him, looking annoyed. Manuel is hovering nearby, trying to look busy.
Basil: (to Sybil) I don't know why we get such low-calibre guests at this hotel. Look at these two - Mr. and Mrs. Smith. They claim to be married, but I suspect they might be lying.
Sybil: (sighing) Basil, it's not our job to judge the marital status of our guests. Just make sure they pay their bill on time and leave a good review.
Basil: (shrugging) I suppose you're right. I'll have Manuel keep an eye on them and report back to me if he sees anything suspicious.
Manuel: (nodding) Si, senor. I will be very discreet.
Sybil: (rolling her eyes) Manuel, do you even know what "discreet" means?
Manuel: (puzzled) Uh, es una palabra muy grande y no la entiendo muy bien...
Sybil: (exasperated) Never mind, Manuel. Just do your best.
(The sound of a door slamming is heard offstage.)
Basil: (perking up) Ah, speaking of our suspicious guests - I think they're back from their outing.
Sybil: (sighing) Great. Let's hope they don't cause any more problems.
(Mr. and Mrs. Smith enter the lobby, looking harried.)
Mr. Smith: (to Basil) Excuse me, but do you have any recommendations for a good restaurant in the area? We're in the mood for something romantic.
Basil: (sneering) I doubt you two would know romance if it hit you in the face.
Sybil: (elbowing Basil) Basil!
Basil: (clearing his throat) Ah, yes. Well, there are several excellent restaurants in the area. I recommend the seafood place down the street - it has a lovely ambiance.
Mrs. Smith: (smiling) Thank you. We'll definitely check it out.
(Basil and Sybil exchange a wary look as Mr. and Mrs. Smith exit the lobby.)
Basil: (to Manuel) Keep an eye on those two. I have a feeling they're up to something.
Manuel: (nodding) Si, senor. I will be very discreet.
(Sybil rolls her eyes and heads offstage, muttering to herself.)
End scene.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Becoming a Twister board

I spent yesterday evening in an old factory building off Brick Lane playing kids' games with an organisation called Fun Fed. The idea is that a bunch of adults get together and act like children for a couple of hours. We played tag and stuck big coloured discs on ourselves so that we could become human Twister mats. There was an awful lot of running around and I was thinking that I ought to get to aikido a bit more often. Being a child is very hard work.
1 comment
Read more

It's been a tough year. Let's give ourselves a clap.

If something didn’t smell right about the UK handling of the pandemic, the British public was never going to notice. But they knew that if they couldn’t smell something, they really ought to get a Covid test sent to them in the post. There has been something incredibly British about the DIY swabs and their delivery via the gig-economy workers of Amazon, hasn’t there? Touch of corona? I’ll pop something in the post to you. Should be with you tomorrow. I suppose it was inevitable that we’d need some new kind of system. After all, the coronavirus outbreak was the first thing in the history of the NHS that couldn’t be cured by paracetamol, rest and plenty of fluids. This understandably left GPs flummoxed and anxious. The UK decided pretty early on that if you were ill with a novel pathogen – which proved deadly in maybe 1% of cases – you really shouldn’t go to the doctor. You should STAY AT HOME and spread it quickly to your flatmates or family members. And because they were now at ...
Post a Comment
Read more