Monday, July 31, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
"When you haven't been out for four or five days," he yelled, "you just want to talk to people!"
I smiled, kept my head down, and headed for Lexington Street.
At the junction, he went in another direction, but not without this parting shot:
"I'll be alright. I have to be. My grandfather put spark plugs into Spitfires!"
Saturday, July 22, 2006
"And in conclusion, ladies and gentlemen..." I lead a workshop at the recent Association of Graduate Recruiters conference in Wales. Sponsored by advertising agency ThirtyThree, the seminar discussed whether it's possible to judge advertising creativity objectively.
Can you really taste the difference? David, it's over to you...
u is gonna b blasted innit. move out da way coz da idf is comin to sort hezbo grillas lol.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
As someone who writes direct mail from time to time, I'm used to all the techniques that people use to get you to open the envelope. This official-looking letter from Capital One goes perhaps one stage too far, however, in advising me that I shouldn't mutilate the contents. I know that people can sometimes get a little annoyed at the volume of mail they receive and might - in a fit of frustration - get involved in bending, folding or tearing. But the idea that anyone would mutilate an offer for Capital One Platinum MasterCard® is just too awful to contemplate. Particularly with 0% interest on balance transfers until 1st November 2007.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Johnny is making good progress with his downloading and is able to distinguish between a .mp3 and .wav file. Although he struggled with the concept of anti-virus software at the start of the term, I am pleased to report that he's now able to seek out and destroy any Trojan that comes his way. Unfortunately though, the little bl***er still can't add up.
"What do you do, then?"
"Well, I've got a couple of part-time jobs. On Mondays and Tuesdays, I work at the pharmacy."
"So, what do you do for the rest of the week?"
"Oh, I fire a few Katyusha rockets and kidnap the odd soldier. Nothing much."
Very often, part-time jobs can be great way to get your foot in the door. If a full-time vacancy comes up - perhaps during a full-blown war with a neighbouring state - you'd be very well placed.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I was in a coffee shop in Newport, Gwent today and the girls who worked there were talking about "textses" they'd received from their respective boyfriends. One revealed that her man didn't write his own original SMS love letters, but forwarded back her own messages saying things like "I love you" and similar. This obviously saved him a great deal of time. As any copywriter would tell you, there's no point in reinventing the wheel. If you have ready-made material, just use it.
Another interesting observation from Gwent is that taxi drivers don't wear seatbelts. Even when they're belting up the M4.
It sounds as if it was a corker - or should that be a porker? - of a meeting. Mark Estienne, a notable Swine Physiologist gave a presentation entitled Developments to Enhance Boar Performance and Fertility, while Allen Harper, an Extension Swine Specialist, treated delegates to a discussion of Non-Traditional Methods of Finishing Pigs in Confinement. I've always been a traditionalist on the issue of finishing pigs in confinement, so I definitely would have been interested to hear of Allen's innovations.
Sadly, registration closed about six and a half years ago.
Russ says he found this while searching for a conference that I was speaking at in Wales. I haven't yet asked him what search terms he was using and why.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Perhaps not to circus performance standard, but she's got the basics, which she claims she learned in Ireland as a kid.
I am 37 and until yesterday I had never - and I mean never - seen her perform this particular party piece.
Which just goes to show. We don't know jack. Even about our own parents.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
I think the professional beggars should have some kind of certificate to display, so that we can distinguish them more easily from the unprofessionals without qualifications.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Travelling down to the West of England recently, I saw an ad for one of those terrible events that the
What do you suppose is meant by those inverted commas?
That the sandwiches are just made? Or that they’re not?
Or that maybe it depends on your definition of ‘just’?
The Yorkshire Pennines – a backdrop of steep valleys and rolling hills scattered with mature oak trees – is one of Britain’s most scenic landscapes. Deep within these Pennine hills water slowly filters through a sandstone layer known as millstone grit. It can take up to 50 years for this process to create water with a unique combination of minerals. It’s this Natural Mineral Water that is Pennine Spring.