Saturday, November 05, 2011

What a load of rubbish

UK Business Secretary Vince Cable is still probably best known for his parliamentary attack on Gordon Brown, in which he described the transformation of the former Labour Prime Minister from 'Stalin to Mr Bean'. If anyone looks like Mr Bean now, it's surely the Liberal Democrats' bumbling brainbox who represents the leafy suburban constituency of Twickenham in London.

Remember how Cable blurted his mouth out to a couple of undercover female journalists, revealing how he was going to nail Rupert Murdoch? Perhaps you caught the report about Vince's unfortunate backlog of VAT payments? Well, he's now been found discarding confidential documents in recycling bags outside his local office.

Although his Letwinesque approach to data protection did attract some national press coverage, the really interesting detail can only be found in the original Richmond & Twickenham Times scoop.

Waitrose bills found in the paperwork make interesting reading, for instance. Might they reveal Vince's refined tastes? Two packs of wholesome dried cranberries. Alpen - no added sugar. Dressed, layered crab and a six-pack of perfectly ripe plums.

A local Lib Dem supporter - yes, they still seem to exist - will be disappointed to discover that their cheque for £2.00 has been recycled by Shell's former chief economist.

According to Cable's discarded diary, a painter called Henry Mee visited him in March and May to paint his portrait. I wonder if the government minister was depicted amid piles of discarded rubbish? The odd confidential report? A few constituents' personal pleas for help?

Let's hope this joker eventually finds his way into retirement. In the meantime, it's probably best not to drop him a line.

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