Just had an idea for a comedy sketch which tickled me. Someone is sent to an open prison for white-collar crime - non-payment of a TV licence or repeatedly crossing red lights. The place is a bit like a holiday camp and the screws are easy-going. You can pretty much wander in and out as you please.
Our new villain, however, has made up his mind that he's going to a proper prison. Knowing that he's about to be sent down at a forthcoming court appearance, he starts packing a bag. Bandana. Cosh. Supply of Class A drugs.
En route to court, he stops off at a tattoo parlour to get a six-inch skull and crossbones engraved on his back.
I'll work on this one and come back to you.
TV researchers take note. Fine for it to appear on the next Armstrong & Miller Show, but I expect hard cash in an envelope.