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How I found God on the tube

I glanced this morning at an ad on the London Underground promoting the 'award-winning' Christian Connection dating website.

The headline makes an astonishing claim, which must surely be causing consternation at the Advertising Standards Authority: 'God knew you would read this'.

Of course, we're aware that the Lord moves in mysterious ways. But the fact that this extends to precision targeting of commuters in ambient advertising campaigns still comes as something of a shock.

Let's take the message at face value for a moment. 

God clearly has you on his radar and knows that you're a good Christian, who is seeking a like-minded partner. He's decided, in His wisdom, to sponsor a particular dating site - perhaps because of its award-winning credentials.

But there's a problem. You don't know the site exists.

This leaves God with only one option: advertising. He can guide you to the posters by getting you to sit in particular carriages. But the posters have to be there in the first place. That must require a lot of meetings with agency planners and media buyers and suchlike. Lucky He has time on His hands in between the war in Syria and the provocative twerking of Miley Cyrus.

Far be it from me to challenge the Lord's modus operandi, but in his omnipotence, couldn't he just arrange for love-struck Christians to bump into each other at the top of an escalator?

It's similar to my general gripe with the spirit world. Why use a medium who garbles your messages, when you could opt for Snapchat or Twitter?

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