Great excitement in north London today, with the official launch of Arsenal Snow Globe Christmas Ornaments. A full-page ad on page 69 of The Metro showcases these tasteful Yuletide decorations, which retail at £4.95 - 'a price you may never see again'.
The editorial team at Viz should note that the concept of parody was pronounced dead on 20th September 2012. 'Officially approved by Arsenal,' gushes the copywriter, 'each ornament features an intricately sculpted festive character cheering on the Gunners inside a snow globe.'
These characters, disappointingly, are not intricately hand-crafted representations of Walcott or Wenger. We are treated instead to Santa Claus, Mr Teddy and Frosty the Snowman.
Just one shake and watch it "snow"!