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Are you going to the ballet, Viscondessa?

Visiting the Royal Opera House website, I was required to register in order to access the booking system.

In the field that asks for your title, they're not content with the regular Mr/Mrs/Miss/Dr/Prof choices. This, after all, is a world-renowned centre for dance and operatic performance. I am given the opportunity to register as a Dowager Marchioness, Ambassador, Brigadier or Rabbi among numerous other options. But that's just the start of it. Some of the menu selections are a lot more specific and bizarre.

George Osborne and Angela Merkel will find the website a breeze, as they click on the 'Chancellor' tab, for example. No worries for Camilla Parker Bowles, as she calmly selects 'HRH the Duchess of' and finds herself a seat in the Gods. All kinds of foreign honourables and potentates are catered for too. If you're an HRH Sultan Shah, you'll feel right at home.

Things take a rather extreme turn, however, with 'HRH The Prince', 'HRH The Princess' and 'Queen'. I wonder if the Royals are online right now?

"This website is most irritating, Philip. It requires one to register before purchasing one's tickets. Do you have your Mastercard handy?"

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