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Reach for the Skyport

Glancing over someone's shoulder on the 285 bus yesterday, I was fascinated to read the latest news in Skyport - the racy tabloid distributed to workers at Heathrow, Gatwick and Stansted.

The best story was about a man on a bmi flight, whose bladder was so full of beer that he stood up and relieved himself on his seat as the plane was coming in to land at LHR. He created a bit of a mess, as you can imagine, but seemed unperturbed. The report revealed that the miscreant had sat right back down again in his self-created pool. That's one landing on water that I'm really glad I didn't see. A judge's comments on his behaviour were summarised in the pithy headline "Urine trouble now".

In football news, Immigration beat BA Flight Deck 4-0. Good result that.

A regular feature column called Fly Past (geddit?) examines aircraft of yesteryear. In this edition, we were treated to a tour of the elegant Boeing 377 Stratocruiser, which graced our skies after World War II.

The ads were interesting too. An establishment of dubious standing was claiming to be "the place for all your sexy Christmas outfits". Exactly how many sexy Christmas outfits do the workers of Terminal 5 actually require? The Mile High Club must be a particularly exciting place at this time of year.

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