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Poles apart

According to press reports (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23426570-details/Bosses%20pick%20'diligent'%20Poles%20ahead%20of%20British%20workers/article.do), UK employers believe Polish workers to be particularly hard working. As a result, people from other countries in Eastern Europe are pretending to be Polish in order to secure jobs.

I was wondering whether English workers should start masquerading as Poles too. It would be quite a leap to make. The accent, religion and cultural habits would be the easy part, but the work ethic could take several decades to perfect.

I have images of someone calling himself Bolek and arriving at the bus depot with a picture of the former Pope in his wallet. Everything seems ok, until he's asked to take the vehicle out of the garage.

Quick glance at the watch. Shake of the head. Pursing of the lips. Sharp intake of breath. Ten minutes later, the bus hasn't moved and his cover is blown. A genuine Pole is quickly summoned to take his place.

Bolek goes off down the road and joins the BNP, complaining that the country's being swamped by foreigners.

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