Because I'm worth it...

"Product" is a terrible jargon word beloved of hairdressers.

"Do you use any product in your hair?"

"Er... well... it depends what kind of product you're talking about. Generally speaking, I try to avoid products like Castrol GTX or Ambrosia Cream Rice."

I usually humour the salon staff by allowing them to put a bit of gel in my hair just after they've cut it. I've no intention of using any on a regular basis, but I can tolerate it for 24 hours and it keeps them happy.

Today I was asked whether I preferred it "wet" or "matt".

And there was me thinking the opposite of wet was dry. And the opposite of matt was gloss.