Skip to main content

Tasteless telly

Scary media nutritionist Gillian McKeith has now fallen in with the Big Brother school of reality TV. It’s clear that in order to sustain her bizarre shows, she has to ratchet up the level of extremism with every series. Not content with sending people off for colonic irrigation and sniffing their excrement, she’s taken to dramatising their eating habits in ways that are increasingly macabre.

You are what you eat (Gillian moves in) is a misnomer, as it’s actually other people who move in to the home of the programme’s mung bean munching host. She has a posh gaff – looks like Islington or somewhere – and unfortunate victims waddle slowly up her stairs to be berated for their eating habits.

Last night, one of the Essex girls chosen for the experiment was shown a life-sized coffin decorated to look like a choc ice. Inside was the quantity of ice cream that she supposedly scoffed during the course of a year. To describe this stunt as tasteless would be far kinder to Gillian than she deserves, although I suppose we do have to be fair about all this. The lady selected to pay her respects in the graveyard did manage to get through four Cornettos a day, which is definitely going some. I’m guessing one for breakfast, one for lunch and two for dinner? Or are they just little pick-me-ups for elevenses and so on?

What will happen, do you think, when Jade pays a visit in You are what you eat (Gillian moves in with celebrities)? If the show’s not already in development, I want a namecheck and a very fat fee. What McKeith would call a ‘morbidly obese’ fee, in fact.

Gillian McKeith reviewed by the Guardian's Bad Science column:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/badscience/story/0,12980,1285600,00.html

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Becoming a Twister board

I spent yesterday evening in an old factory building off Brick Lane playing kids' games with an organisation called Fun Fed. The idea is that a bunch of adults get together and act like children for a couple of hours. We played tag and stuck big coloured discs on ourselves so that we could become human Twister mats. There was an awful lot of running around and I was thinking that I ought to get to aikido a bit more often. Being a child is very hard work.

Buttahz

Belatedly made it to the excellent Evolving English exhibition at the British Library. When I arrived, I found a curator talking to a large group of inner-city London teenagers who'd come with their school. "How do you spell Butters ?" he was asking them. The kids volunteered different spellings of the slang term. Museum man then posed another question. "But you don't actually say it like that, do you?" He was referring, I think, to the glottal stop that replaces the t in London English, although phonetics isn't my strong point. The youth were sent off to record slang in a booth for posterity and my attention was drawn to another class. This group was much younger and seemed to attend an exclusive private school. "Joanna! Come over here and listen to a bit of Romeo and Juliet!" The precocious little kids ran hither and thither, listening to samples of regional dialects on a superb interactive display or speeches from statesmen such as JFK and ...

Captain Birdseye and other people of rank

Regular readers may recall that I once doubted the existence of Yeo Valley. I'd never heard of the Yeo mountain range and I therefore rated the likelihood of there being a valley at somewhere between 0 and 5%. Of course, I had yoghurt all over my face when I discovered that the place really does exist. Somewhere in Somerset, I seem to recall. Today, having read an article in the latest edition of The Marketer magazine, I'm astonished to discover that there really was a Captain Birdseye. Well, I need to qualify that just a little. There was a Mister Clarence Birdseye who invented the fish finger back in 1955. The avuncular, uniformed figure who dominated our TV screens for about thirty years may have been an invention of over-eager advertising creatives, but he didn't blow in on a trawler during a squall. There was actually some connection to a real human being. These revelations about fish and yoghurt are causing me considerable disquiet, because I'm wondering h...